The Buddha pointed out that there are three paths of Pride which are: thinking I am better than the others; thinking I am less than the others; and thinking I am just as good as the others. Each of these leads to more suffering for myself and others. What then can we do? Where does this leave us? This is yet another example of the wonderful way in which the Buddha challenges us to “step outside the square” so to speak and find a new way of being and a new fruitful way of doing.
The late Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera offers us a good starting point when he says
We can only learn by admitting we don’t know everything yet, we can only grow if we accept that we are not perfect, just like everyone else around us.
Be light, humorous, eager to learn, courageous to change and not afraid of making mistakes. Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping yourself or the world; it does not change the past, nor does it change the future; it only makes the present miserable.
In short, we must start where we are, here and now. Where are we here and now?
During this time of real crisis in the midst of the Covid 19 pandemic it is easy to feel that we are trapped literally and metaphorically. Looking around for others to blame becomes easy. Feelings of anger and irritation bubble up within the heart and mind all too readily. Great dissatisfaction arises and we may perhaps feel that we are foundering and losing heart. The Buddha taught the path of Dhamma precisely in order to help us overcome this dukkha or suffering and unsatisfactoriness. He taught out of his own experience, out of his own suffering and his own experience of liberation. In order to do this we have to be prepared to stay with attentiveness, to listen with our whole body, heart and mind.
Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh writes
When we hear a Dharma talk or study a sutra, our only job is to remain open. Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing. If we read or listen with an open mind and an open heart, the rain of the Dharma will penetrate the soil of our consciousness.
This listening applies equally to our own experience. Listening to ourselves with an open heart and mind. Listening too without leaping into judgement, condemnation, or harsh criticism. Rather we try to develop the listening heart of the mother as she attends to her crying, suffering child. In order to do this we must try to cultivate genuine letting go. This is not the same as abandoning or giving up.
The great Zen Master Dogen Zenji when asked by a student, “What should you do if you find yourself in an argument? Should you try to win the argument or should you concede, even though you feel you’re right?”
Dogen told the student, “neither path, but rather become disinterested”, and the argument will lose its energy. This is sage advice but hard to do, because becoming disinterested presents a direct challenge to the master of “interest”, the “self”. This self is a kind of sacred cow which we cling to and are often the servants of.
“Release your cows so you can be truly happy.” Says Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, “Worrying does not accomplish anything. Even if you worry twenty times more, it will not change the situation of the world. In fact, your anxiety will only make things worse. Even though things are not as we would like, we can still be content, knowing we are trying our best and will continue to do so. If we don’t know how to breathe, smile, and live every moment of our life deeply, we will never be able to help anyone. I am happy in the present moment. I do not ask for anything else. I do not expect any additional happiness or conditions that will bring about more happiness. The most important practice is aimlessness, not running after things, not grasping.”
May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.
From Santideva and His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
Next Thursday the 12th of August marks the 100th Day since our beloved Lily Koo passed away. Normally we would together mark this special day with a puja and meditation offered for her well-being and happiness. However due to covid restrictions we cannot do this as a group. Let us then start from where we are in our here and now. I encourage each of you to offer your practice for Lily on August 12th and as well as sending lots of metta toward her also offer gratitude for the great good she has done for all of us in the Association and many, many other people.
Each of us I am sure will have our wonderful stories of Lily. May she come quickly to the complete freedom of heart and mind which is Nibbana!
With gratitude and every blessing Bhante teja
